Around the time I was toying with the idea of a writing life, the Rune Stones— twenty-five to be exact— came into my life. Whenever unable to make a decision, I’d haul out the Stones.
Now, I’m fully aware of how easy it is to interpret the reading of a selected Stone, so it fits the outcome desired. People do it all the time with horoscopes. They “hear” what they want to hear.
But I’ve come to realize that when we interpret, we are not hearing what we want to hear, as much as we’re hearing what we need to hear— and what we need to hear is coming from our own intuition. Fortune tellers, horoscopes, Rune Stones are only the mediums we use to listen to ourselves. All our answers are within us.
Jump back to when I was teetering between the world of theatre and storytelling. I wasn’t convinced I had any real talent in either area at the time, so rather than waste my energy on a career that wasn’t going to prove profitable financially, emotionally or spiritually, I decided to consult the Rune Stones.
When seeking guidance from the Stones you’re advised to avoid Yes or No questions. Better to phrase the question so that it requires an essay like answer. My question:
Are my creative talents better served through work as an actor or as a writer?
Jump back to when I committed myself to Julie Cameron’s the Artist’s Way 12-Week Challenge. Every time I was asked to identify what I would be doing in the next five or ten years, I wrote without hesitation— writing. This answer surfacing when I was auditioning on a weekly basis for shows like Homicide: Life on the Street. Slide sideways into my birthday reading with my New Orleans’ psychic, who told me there would be two books— one fiction, the other a how-to.
I closed my eyes, meditated on the question, shook the bag, reached a hand in and pulled out Sowelu.
That which you are striving to be, you already are.
This Rune Stands for Wholeness, that which your nature requires. It embodies the impulse toward self-realization and indicates the path you must follow, not from ulterior motives but from the core of your individuality.
Seeking after Wholeness is the Spiritual Warrior’s quest. And yet what you are striving to become in actuality is what you are already by nature. You must become conscious of your essence and bring it into form, express it in a creative way.
I am a writer. I always have been— from the time I wrote my first story at age seven. Writing is my default. It’s how I process the world. How I maintain hope. How I own my feelings, express truth. It doesn’t matter if I publish or not. The process is enough for me.
If I don’t write, I get irritable, lose patience and everything I do feels like a waste of time. Writing is one of my meditations. It gives me hope and nourishes me unlike any other form of creativity. I don’t strive to write crap, but I’m happier writing crap than giving a stellar performance on stage.
Does this mean I’m no longer going to pursue traditional publishing? No. But if, or when, a book deal comes along, it won’t be what defines me. I am a writer. It’s what I do and the process is enough.